The Other Side of Special Needs: The Sibling Experience

Challenges of being a Sibling to a Special Needs

Challenges of being a sibling to a Special Needs Child. Family dynamics play a significant role in how we experience growing up. A disabled child's presence will offer different experiences and insights than his peers.  The impacts can affect the social and emotional development of the typically developing sibling. (TDS)

Emotional and Psychological Challenges for Siblings of Special Needs

Positive Challenges

Empathy and compassion - TDS develop higher levels of kindness, compassion and patience.

Maturity and responsibility—Many see themselves as more independent and mature than their friends due to their early responsibilities and insight.

Resilience - Typically developing siblings (TDS) have had to cope with situations their friends have not yet witnessed, which can foster greater emotional resilience.

Challenges

Anxiety and Stress - Concerns about a sibling's health and well-being, or if a disabled child has mental health issues, the TDS has concerns about their own safety.

Feelings of neglect and Isolation - Some TDS are left to do life on their own due to the disabled child taking up most of the parents' time.  

Guilt - Some siblings feel guilty for being able to live an independent life when their brother or sister is disabled.  There is guilt over resenting their parents for spending too much time with the disabled child and not them.

Social Challenges for Siblings

Positive

Diversity and Awareness - A greater understanding of acceptance of differences and inclusivity in relationships by TDS

Support Networks - Strong bonds are made with those in similar situations, creating a sense of community.

Family bonds - Some families unite, forming lasting, strong bonds as they come together.

Challenges

Isolation - The family does not function the same way the TDS friends do, so this limits social activities 

Bullying and Stigma - TDS may have to witness their brother or sister being bullied and feel helpless, or they may be bullied themselves for having a disabled sibling.

Family dynamics - Uneven parenting creates resentment as siblings get left out.

Research - A Study on the Life Experiences of Adolescents Who Grew Up with Younger Siblings with Developmental Disabilities: Focusing on Phenomenological Analysis Methods

Nevertheless, siblings in families with a disabled member not only provide emotional support that cannot be provided by their parents [11], they also act as a proxy for caretakers, and play a special role in the family system [6] (p. 1). Therefore, it is important that siblings of persons with disabilities grow up with support, psychologically and socially, for healthy family development [12,13].

Academic and Career Choices

The impact of the challenges in their life

Siblings may choose to teach Special Education, Healthcare or social work as careers.

Many have a heightened need to support people in need, but others are suffering from stress and mental health issues as a result.

Long-Term Impact

Positives

TDS take their experience into their careers and lives with a heightened sense of responsibility, empathy and advocacy

Challenges

Many TDS have negative experiences, end up with mental health issues and no support.  There is always the worry of having to take on the caregiving role when the parents die.

Intervention and Support

Parental role - Ensure that the siblings are involved and feel supported. There are times when they need to be the priority.

Sibling Support Groups - Connect with families in a similar situation via a hospital or hospice. Children talking about their situation and coping strategies.

Therapeutic Interventions - Family and individual therapy counselling can help manage feelings, stress and improve family dynamics

Educational resources - Workshops, courses, and literature educating siblings and other family members on different topics.